/ HI, I’m Hunter
a queer, trauma-informed somatic sex and intimacy coach who’s passionate about teaching folks how to re-learn intimacy as a skill through a gender-expansive, pleasure-based approach.
keep reading for a more playful and holistic lens of who i am and how i became a coach:
/ WHAT MY DATING PROFILE WOULD TELL YOU ABOUT ME
i identify as a gender non-conforming, queer person who uses they/them and she/her pronouns interchangeably.
astrologically: i’m a leo sun, scorpio moon, gemini rising, which means that i’m an empathetic, big feeler who has a strong moral compass and isn’t afraid to lead with my heart.
according to the enneagram: i’m a “peacekeeper” number 9, which means i see two sides to every story and i live my life with high levels of compassion and understanding.
i have three cats, who i call my little family of misfits! first there’s crowe, a one-eyed and mostly blind Siamese rescue; then there’s Fig and Atlas, the two hairless sphynx.
i’ve been vegetarian for 10 years with an on-again-off-again relationship with veganism.
my biggest turn-on is spontaneous romance with vulnerable intimacy and physical surrender, including wall-pushing, eye-gazing and power plays.
/ WHY I CHOSE TO BECOME AN INTIMACY COACH
through personal experience learning how to navigate sex and intimacy, i picked up a lot of common but unhealthy habits: performing to please others, compromising on my boundaries and feeling comfortable operating in a dissociative state.
for me, sex wasn’t intimate, it wasn’t passionate and it didn’t feel good! after years of settling, i audited my life and relationships with the goal of prioritizing my own pleasure through somatic work.
by nurturing and understanding my somatic nervous system, i was able to repair the relationship i have with my body and my sensuality, giving me the confidence to show up intimately and authentically in everyday life.
after experiencing how deeply somatic work impacted my life, i went back to school with the intention of shifting from student to teacher, committed to sharing what i’ve learned with other people who have similar experiences.
/ A VULNERABLE SHARE
as empowering as it is to write about why i became an intimacy coach, it’s still hard for me to admit that i have body trauma from past sexual experiences.
it took a while for me to let go of the mindset that i was raised in where trauma doesn’t exist unless it’s visible on the body and impacts day-to-day life. i thought, even if i did experience sexual trauma, it wasn’t worth talking about because “it happened in the past” and i believed that “i should be able to just let it go”.
for years, i was living disconnected from my body, my emotions and my somatic nervous system, which permeated into all of my relationships.
after planting roots in the bay area in 2017, i found myself surrounded by people who were unapologetically living life as their full selves, and for the first time, i felt inspired to do the same.
i made a radical commitment to explore my queerness, nurture my friendships and romantic relationships from a vulnerable and emotional space, and confidently bring my full self, including my sensuality, into every aspect of my life.
/ MY QUEER THOUGHTS ON NAVIGATING INTIMACY & SEX
it’s clear that the shame, stigma and embarrassment of not falling into one of the two binary gender boxes has a profound effect on our capacity for intimacy. as a gender non-conforming queer person, i chose to unsubscribe from these binary roles a long time ago and proudly bring a fluid, gender-expansive approach into my practice.
i’ve worked with clients of all bodies and genders, teaching them how to deepen into their somatic nervous systems, and if there’s one thing i’m sure of, it’s that the tools that deepen intimacy don't follow a one-size-fits all approach, and they don’t follow the rules of the gender binary either.
by exploring your somatic nervous system without the expectations of gender roles, we can truly start learning what it means to show up authentically without overthinking or performing for others.
/ MY CREDENTIALS
CERTIFIED SOMATIC SEX & INTIMACY COACH
CERTIFIED SEXOLOGIST & SEX EDUCATOR
CERTIFIED SEXUAL ASSAULT & CRISIS COUNSELOR
BACHELOR’S OF SCIENCE IN PUBLIC HEALTH
/ FINAL THOUGHTS
intimacy and sex are learned skills.
there’s nothing inherently wrong if they don’t come naturally to you, and seeking help isn’t a sign of defeat but rather a radical demonstration of self-worth and self-love.
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through my own journey of self-discovery, i’ve learned a lot and have unlearned even more.
i’m grateful to have found such a transformative line of work, and feel eager to continue sharing it with those who are courageous enough to explore alongside me.
Cheers,
hhunter rae
… STILL FEELING CURIOUS?
follow me on instagram for a glimpse into my personal life and behind the scenes footage of what it’s like to work as a somatic coach!